The S & M Man

NOTES: The chorus begins the song, followed by the verses. The first two lines of each verse are repeated back to the leader of the song as members attempt to out-gross the other members. Since this is a particularly nasty song, it has been known to clear out more than one bar – sing at your own risk.

THE S & M MAN
Melody – The Candy Man

CHORUS:
(Oh!) The S & M man.
The S & M man,
The S & M man because mixes it with love,
Makes the hurt feel good, the hurt feel good.

SAMPLE VERSE:
Who will run through shiggy, (Who will run through shiggy,)
Ripping up his flesh, (Ripping up his flesh)
And turn right around,
And repeat the bloody mess? (CHORUS)

OPTIONAL VERSES:

• Who cuts off your gonads,
  Boils ‘em in a stew,
  Later that evening,
  He’ll feed ‘em back to you? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who can take a razor,
  And no shaving cream,
  Scrape her pussy bald,
  While he listens to her scream? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who can take a bottle,
  Shove it up your ass,
  Hit it with a hammer,
  And line your ass with glass? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who can take your penis,
  Slam it in a door,
  Slam it in a door,
  So you can’t fuck anymore? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who can take a sander,
  Make sure it’s Black and Decker,
  Rub it up and down,
  Until you’ve got a bleeding pecker? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who can take two ice picks,
  Stick one in each ear,
  And ride her like a Harley,
  While he roots her up the rear? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who takes jumper cables,
  Clamps one on each tit,
  Starts up the car,
  And electrocutes the bitch? (CHORUS)
  
  
• ho can take a vagina,
  Suck out all the yeast,
  Spit it out into some dough,
  And serve bread at the hash feast? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who can take a puppy,
  Hold it by the ears,
  Fuck it in the ass,
  Until it sheds those puppy tears? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who can take a cheese grater,
  Strap it to his arm,
  Fist fuck the bitch
  And make Vagina Parmesan? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who can take a baby,
  Lay it on a bed,
  Turn the bugger over,
  Fuck the soft spot in its head? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who can take a little girl,
  Before she’s on the rag,
  Fuck her till she’s dead
  And then toss her in a bag? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who goes to the abortion clinic,
  Sneaks around the back,
  Digs through the dumpster,
  Until he finds a tasty snack? (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who goes to the abortion clinic,
  Fuck goin’ around the back
  Kick down the front door,
  And eat it out her snatch?< (CHORUS)
  
  
• Who can take a sawfish,
  Ram it up yer bum,
  Run it back and forth,
  To make some rectal chum? (CHORUS)