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The S & M Man


NOTES: The chorus begins the song, followed by the verses. The first two lines of each verse are repeated back to the leader of the song as members attempt to out-gross the other members. Since this is a particularly nasty song, it has been known to clear out more than one bar – sing at your own risk.

THE S & M MAN
Melody – The Candy Man

CHORUS:
(Oh!) The S & M man.
The S & M man,
The S & M man because mixes it with love,
Makes the hurt feel good, the hurt feel good.

SAMPLE VERSE:
Who will run through shiggy, (Who will run through shiggy,)
Ripping up his flesh, (Ripping up his flesh)
And turn right around,
And repeat the bloody mess? (CHORUS)

OPTIONAL VERSES:

  • Who cuts off your gonads,
    Boils ‘em in a stew,
    Later that evening,
    He’ll feed ‘em back to you? (CHORUS)

  • Who can take a razor,
    And no shaving cream,
    Scrape her pussy bald,
    While he listens to her scream? (CHORUS)

  • Who can take a bottle,
    Shove it up your ass,
    Hit it with a hammer,
    And line your ass with glass? (CHORUS)

  • Who can take your penis,
    Slam it in a door,
    Slam it in a door,
    So you can’t fuck anymore? (CHORUS)

  • Who can take a sander,
    Make sure it’s Black and Decker,
    Rub it up and down,
    Until you’ve got a bleeding pecker? (CHORUS)

  • Who can take two ice picks,
    Stick one in each ear,
    And ride her like a Harley,
    While he roots her up the rear? (CHORUS)

  • Who takes jumper cables,
    Clamps one on each tit,
    Starts up the car,
    And electrocutes the bitch? (CHORUS)

  • ho can take a vagina,
    Suck out all the yeast,
    Spit it out into some dough,
    And serve bread at the hash feast? (CHORUS)

  • Who can take a puppy,
    Hold it by the ears,
    Fuck it in the ass,
    Until it sheds those puppy tears? (CHORUS)

  • Who can take a cheese grater,
    Strap it to his arm,
    Fist fuck the bitch
    And make Vagina Parmesan? (CHORUS)

  • Who can take a baby,
    Lay it on a bed,
    Turn the bugger over,
    Fuck the soft spot in its head? (CHORUS)

  • Who can take a little girl,
    Before she’s on the rag,
    Fuck her till she’s dead
    And then toss her in a bag? (CHORUS)

  • Who goes to the abortion clinic,
    Sneaks around the back,
    Digs through the dumpster,
    Until he finds a tasty snack? (CHORUS)

  • Who goes to the abortion clinic,
    Fuck goin’ around the back
    Kick down the front door,
    And eat it out her snatch?< (CHORUS)

  • Who can take a sawfish,
    Ram it up yer bum,
    Run it back and forth,
    To make some rectal chum? (CHORUS)