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Jesus Can’t Go Hashing


NOTES: An optional verse is sung to begin the song, followed by the chorus. Additional verses are then added followed by the chorus again. For the verses, the first line is repeated three times before “Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves” is sung. Sometimes other deities are substituted for Jesus, such as Buddha, Allah, or Muhammad. At the conclusion of the song hashers usually fall to their knees and ask for forgiveness with the concluding verse.

JESUS CAN’T GO HASHING
Melody – Battle Hymn of the Republic

SAMPLE VERSE:
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s nailed upon the cross,
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s nailed upon the cross,
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s nailed upon the cross,
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.

CHORUS:
Free beer for all the hashers;
Free beer for all the hashers;
Free beer for all the hashers;
Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves!

FINAL VERSE:
Jesus, we’re only kidding!
Jesus, we’re only kidding!
Jesus, we’re only kidding!
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves!

ADDITIONAL VERSES:

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his feet are tied together!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his dad knows all the trails!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s busy getting nailed!

  • Jesus don’t need flour ’cause he lays the trail in blood;

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause Judas pissed him off!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s only got 12 friends!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause shiggy on his head!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his wood is just too big!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his dad knows all the trails!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his girlfriend is a whore!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he turns the beer to wine!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s stuck behind a rock!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he shortcuts across the lake!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause a Jew won’t pay five bucks!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause the flour falls through his hands!

  • Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s mowing my front lawn!

  • All the girls love Jesus ’cause he’s hung like this! (spread out arms)
  • All the girls love Jesus ’cause they know he’ll cum again!